It takes a special woman who will enjoy working with guys day after day. Here’s a quiz to see if you’ve got the right stuff to work well with American men. And to help you along, I’m going to tell you what the right answer is— right now!
If you answer any of these questions with an answer other than a), you have identified a problem area, and you must brace yourself because you may have to go through therapy, hypnosis and remedial training to make it in a male-dominated environment.
Here we go…
How do you feel about college football?
a) I personally may or may not follow football, but I think it’s okay for guys to talk about the game while we’re waiting for a meeting to start.
b) Hate it. Football is a fascist game played by neanderthals. Anyone who watches college football, not to mention the NFL, is a moron.
c) It’s not only uninteresting, but these guys don’t realize that they are being exploited by a commercial enterprise that has been created only to sell beer. Poor suckers.
What do you do when a man opens a door for you?
a) I walk through and say thank you.
b) I push the door back really fast and hard and try to hit him in the head. That way, he’ll know that I’m fully capable of opening the door myself.
c) I never let this happen. I always race ahead and grab the door before he can reach it. When I open it, I sometimes smile and say ‘After you, SIR.’
Do you cry at work?
a) I try to never cry at work.
b) I’ll cry if I want to, and if guys weren’t so INSENSITIVE, they could see I’m UPSET and I need a little SUPPORT right now.
c) Oh yes, if my boss yells at me, I always cry. That usually makes him stop.
How do you react when someone uses the F-word at work?
a) I ignore it.
b) I say, “EXCUSE ME,” and wait for him to apologize.
c) I report him to HR.
If you heard that one of your co-workers had sent around a joke about sex, what would you do?
a) Ignore it.
b) Sex? …er, I’m skipping this question.
c) I think that men who send around jokes about sex should be shot.
If a guy gets super-mad at work and slams his fist down on the table, I…?
a) Ignore it.
b) Approach him later with my healing crystals.
c) Recommend an anger management seminar series to HR.
If one of my co-workers says something mean about my weight, I…
a) Ignore him.
b) Report him to HR.
c) Cry. Maybe shoot him.
If the guys are playing paper football when I walk into a room, I…?
a) Ignore them–Wait! No, no, I start taking bets.
b) Put my laptop down in the end zone.
c) Tell them I’ll be back when they’re ready to get serious.
If my manager told me that I did a bad job on something, I would…?
a) Try not to take it personally and learn from the experience.
b) Tell him how it was his fault because he didn’t explain it right.
c) Cry. Definitely.
If a female co-worker got promoted, how would you react?
a) I would sincerely congratulate her.
b) Well, we know how she got there, don’t we.
c) That would never happen where I work.
What’s the best way to start a new assignment?
a) Go talk to someone who has done something similar.
b) Consult my horoscope.
c) Hide in my office for two months.
The guys have invited you to play pinball. What do you do?
a) Go. It sounds like fun.
b) Tell them that pinball is stupid.
c) What’s pinball?
What do you do when men use sports metaphors to explain things at work?
a) I go look up the ones I don’t understand.
b) I tell them to please speak English.
c) I think guys who use sports metaphors should be shot.
Do you like working with men?
c) Are you insane?
N.B. The format of this quiz is ripped off from Matt Strebe’s From Serf to Surfdom. Thanks, Matt!
Copyright © 2012 Jennifer K. Crittenden